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The Best Of All Possible Games

11 Mar 2008 08:23 am

Via Crooked Timber, I see that John Rawls got at least one thing right. Here he is channeling the legal scholar Harry Kalven on the perfections on baseball:

… the game does not give unusual preference or advantage to special physical types, e.g., to tall men as in basketball. All sorts of abilities can find a place somewhere, the tall and the short etc. can enjoy the game together in different positions.

… the game uses all parts of the body: the arms to throw, the legs to run, and to swing the bat, etc.; per contra soccer where you can’t touch the ball. It calls upon speed, accuracy of throw, gifts of sight for batting, shrewdness for pitchers and catchers, etc.

… all plays of the game are open to view: the spectators and the players can see what is going on. Per contra football where it is hard to know what is happening in the battlefront along the line. Even the umpires can’t see it all, so there is lots of cheating etc. And in basketball, it is hard to know when to call a foul. There are close calls in baseball too, but the umps do very well on the whole, and these close calls arise from the marvelous timing built into the game and not from trying to police cheaters etc.

… baseball is the only game where scoring is not done with the ball, and this has the remarkable effect of concentrating the excitement of plays at different points of the field at the same time. Will the runner cross the plate before the fielder gets to the ball and throws it to home plate, and so on.

Finally, there is the factor of time, the use of which is a central part of any game. Baseball shares with tennis the idea that time never runs out, as it does in basketball and football and soccer. This means that there is always time for the losing side to make a comeback …

One could go on to note the perfect balance that baseball strikes between team effort and individual performance, a balance at once deeply Christian and deeply small-d democratic. Or its paradoxical nature, which inspires quantification and romanticization in equal measure, and offers food for statheads as well as novelists, conservatives as well as liberals, historians as well as business writers. Or …

No, enough. No argument, however self-evidently powerful, will persuade those deluded souls – and they do exist! – who would argue that the qualities that Rawls and Kalven considered strengths are actually weaknesses. Those who would claim that baseball’s physical ecumenism – the sport’s ability to find a place for Chone Figgins as well as Vladimir Guerrero, for John Kruk as well as Bo Jackson - makes it ultimately inferior to basketball or football or soccer as a test of athletic ability. Those who would assert that the skills that baseball requires are too idiosyncratic to be interesting – that whereas everyone can appreciate the physical strength required to be an offensive lineman, or the speed and agility required of a small forward, only a crank or an obsessive can get worked up about how well a paunchy middle-aged man flicks a curve or spins a knuckleball. Those who would aver that baseball’s clocklessness, its out-of-time quality and its inclination toward eternity, just means that the games take too damn long.

Such people are beyond the reach of reason. Also, they’re communists.

Comments (25)

Call me crazy, but I can't have the same kind of love I have for baseball and football as I do for a sport where a three-hour game features 8 minutes of actual action.

I seem to have somehow inverted the syntax of the sentence I was trying to write. But you know what I mean.

Rawls clearly was not familiar with limited-overs cricket.

Well, never let it be said that John Rawls can't spew out wise sounding bullshit.

The only argument in the Rawls piece that isn't silly or wrong is:

"baseball is the only game where scoring is not done with the ball, and this has the remarkable effect of concentrating the excitement of plays at different points of the field at the same time."

Fair enough, and clearly a virtue of baseball, though of course people who actually understand football and basketball know to watch the action away from the ball.

And please oh please. Baseball has less cheating than football? Excuse me while I go giggle so hard I shit myself.

Since when is Wakefield paunchy? I agree with the rest of the post, though.

I always wondered what George Will was like as a young man, 80 or so years ago. He has so thoroughly defined old crustiness for my entire aware adult life that I was unable to even imagine the possibility.

Now, I know! That fact alone already makes today a worthwhile day...

It always amuses me that the same people who whine about baseball being "boring" can watch a televised NFL game, which lasts every bit as long as a baseball game and in which every other play is interrupted by a penalty or a series of erection pill and frozen pizza commercials. And forget about attending a live NFL game or listening to a game on the radio while barbacuing or fishing - it's a thoroughly unpleasant experience.

Baseball is like an extended musical piece - all about tension and release. On the other hand, football is basically a creation of television, perfectly suited to the attention span of TV viewers - and, indeed, it's sort of impossible to imagine professional football existing without TV. And baseball affords average fans the opportunity to actually go watch the games, with tickets as low as $10 and permissive rules about outside food at most parks. Football accomodates only rabid fans and primarily corporate d-bags and is prohibitively expensive/impossible to get seats even for bad seats, not that anyone really wants to go to the games, since football is much better on TV anyway.

I do like college football, but more for the experience of the games than the actual quality of the play.

How can you call an activity that 95+% of the time involves 10 men standing around scratching themselves a sport? I suppose if you define sport in such a way as to include billiards, poker and lawn darts (to which all these same philosophical whinges re democracy, time wasting and physical type could apply) then baseball would qualify. The reason so many baseball players injure their hamstrings while running to first base is because that's all the exercise they ever get. In fact, the only person in the game likely to get tired, the pitcher, is yanked from the game as soon as fatigue begins to affect his play.

What kind of a sport is that?

Everyone seems to be ignoring one obvious contender for Best Sport Ever. I don't watch or play any sport religiously, and don't have a personal stake in this question. But as a guy who makes games for a living, I think there's a very strong case that for elegance, athleticism, strategy, drama, and spectator-friendliness, tennis is king.

I can appreciate baseball and football (I have little taste for basketball, which is a game about cheating, as far as I can tell). If I could personally be good at one sport, it would probably be golf. I haven't watched or played tennis (video game versions excepted) since I was a youngster. But, man, is it a beautiful game.

No, it's not very "democratic," but who said democracy's a good thing in sports? Well, sure, Rawls did, but he thought that about everything, didn't he?

"One could go on to note the perfect balance that baseball strikes between team effort and individual performance"

I think DeNiro made that point quite well in "The Untouchables"

Yeah...it's a dreadfully boring game though...

I agree with mosts of these points (especially with the umpiring one; I think umpiring in baseball is far more rational than in most sports, especially basketball), but I take issue with the body type one. It's true that not all baseball players are behemoths, and certain positions do not favor massive players. On the other hand, some positions do, and this is why in baseball, like football, there is an incentive for many players to become as huge as possible, and you get steroid problems. Hockey and even soccer (don't get me wrong, I hate soccer) don't seem to have this issue. These are both very fluid sports, but then again, such sports do not lend themselves very well to stats, which is half the fun of being a sports fan.

Baseball is the perfect spectator sport, because 16 of th 18 players are spectators most of the time.

I love baseball for all the aforesaid reasons. Football and basketball, well, I used to watch them, but now they are boring.

What I've started watching is mixed martial arts. Now that is an exciting sport, with the best-conditioned athletes in the universe.

As someone said after the Ken Burns PBS series on Baseball; the reason so many intellectuals put down football is that they hate to admit that Jimmy Johnson can understand something that they can't.

Anyone who denounces baseball is worse than communist.

I'm sorry, baseball is freaking boring. Now hockey, that is a real sport. You have your conservative ideals about crime and punishment (players who start fights are put in the penalty box) as well as liberal ideas about tolerance and forgiveness (after the penalty is over, all is forgiven and the player is free to skate without parole). It is a game of finesse. Big brutes cannot make it, they will be skated around. And it doesn't involve a ball at all. Rather, it uses a puck. Players rotate in lines, so it is much more democratic than baseball. Baseball has too many innings for a game that is without a timeclock. Most of the time the players are just standing around there. Lazy. Interpid and hard working northern sports like hockey require constant work and motion.

I've often thought that basketball should adopt hockey-style penalties for fouls.

It would be interesting to see a team play 4 on 5 instead of breaking up the game with free throws.

Yes, but the real question is... what sort of game rules would a society of equals in the Original Position come up with?

My guess would be something where three sides compete using hard medicine balls and samurai swords, the "field" being a net poised over a tank of sump oil. Ten points for the winner, five for the runner-up, zero for the team coming third, thus leading to all sorts of interesting on-team alliances, deals and betrayals - "Diplomacy" (tm) with dodgeballs.

So I've got this great idea for a game - A bunch of guys stand around in a field, and then every two minutes or so, one of the guys throws a ball. Then (and here's the exciting part) another guy decides whether or not to swing at it! Wow!

You know why baseball is called the National Pastime? So nobody accidentally confuses it with a sport.

Fans say it's like watching a chess match, but I find chess matches to be boring to watch as well.

But then what do I know? I watch poker.

-end rant.

Collegiate wrestling is pretty cool to watch- more exciting at the high school than the college level though (I haven't watched much of the Olympics). The college guys are so good that it seems like most bouts are very low scoring, and nobody really gets pinned very often.

I second mixed martial arts.

I'm not a great fan of baseball, but one of the worst things about two sports I like better (football and basketball) is that the game frequently ends with one team trying to prevent play from happening (hold the ball), while the clock runs down. In baseball you have to get every last out no matter how far you're ahead.

"baseball is the only game where scoring is not done with the ball"

Definitely false - anybody heard of cricket, rounders etc. As for using all parts of the body and allowing a variety of body types, there is Australian Rules Football (which was developed as winter training for cricketers!).

A knuckleball that spins is called a homerun.

A knuckleball that spins is called a homerun.

You beat me to it so I'll add "or batting practice."